Friday, March 16, 2007

Holiday Sex...

In the current issue of DNA magazine, there's a list of 10 hot tips on how to get holiday sex, which I found interesting and it may become handy someday. Just imagine you're in exotic location, up for adventure and have a hotel room begging for action. Now...

1. AVOID THE MIDDLE EAST
It might have breathtaking scenery, beautiful architecture and some hot dudes but being a bum-and-cock fan in a place where it's illegal isn't advisable. Consider looking for a shag where acts of homo- sexuality aren't punished with beheading.

2. FOLLOW THE HEARD
Your holiday destination should openly cater to the gay market. There's no point being hot and horny unless your fellow travelers are, too. Iceland is nice, plenty to see and do, but are there multiple shag options? If you don't know where the heard is, just head to Greece (which may be my next holiday destination)!

3. PACK YOUR BANANA HAMMOCK
Sun, sea and sand guarantees a bounty of semi-naked spunks in Speedos. All those unclothes bodies provide a horned up atmosphere and ensures everyone is gagging for it within 5 minutes of arrival.

4. BEAUTIFY, BUFF... BONK
Before you land, put a bit of effort into your look, for examples, become addicted to the gym, sort out your hair, and get a tan. If you look good, you're halfway there.

5. CRUISE CONTROL
For a quick-fix fuck, swot up on your destination's local cruising areas. It may be seedy, tacky, and downright dangerous but it's generally a gay sex guarantee.

6. EMBELLISH, PRETEND, LIE
Holidays provide the perfect opportunity to pretend to be someone else. Trick boys into bed by telling them you're super-rich busin- essman, minor royalty or an over-sexed porn star.

7. LOWER THE BAR
Maximise your chance of success by putting your fear of rejection aside and approaching as many people as possible. Someone will be up for it. But that doesn't mean scrape the bottom of the barrel.

8. GO THERE, YOU'RE WORTH IT
Being overseas gives you the best excuse to chat up those hot guys you wouldn't usually approach at home. Asking for directions is the perfect way to a holiday fuck, "and where do you live?"

9. "G'DAY, MATE!"
Remember, you're the exotic foreigner, which means that unless you're visiting France, about 90% of the population will find you interesting and attractive. Exaggerating your Aussie (in my case Brit) accent gets guys in the sack faster than you'd think.

10. PLAN B
If you fail to charm a local, there's always someone to fall back on, fellow holiday-goers. You can guaranteed that they're looking for exactly the same thing as you!

1 comment:

lancelot90 said...

Pretty good suggestion……but I don't hae enough spare time for a holiday……