Saturday, April 14, 2007

Sleeping Alone...

Buried in a tangled mess of blankets, sheets and pillows, lay a single silent form. A leg was visible near the bottom of the bed. Thick brown hair covered a well defined calve muscle. The hair continued down to the foot, and there was even a hair or two on the toes. Looking up the bed, an arm tightly clutched a pillow. It too was covered, albeit less densely, in brown hairs. It was a thin arm, but it had well defined muscles. This form was obviously a young man.

A glance towards the head resting on the pillow would confirm this. Atop the head was shortly buzzed dark brown hair. The hair matched the stubble growing on the chin. The most stunning feature of this sleeping man was his lips. Thick and crimson in colour, they begged to be kissed. Above the lips was a nose that had obviously seen a few fights, but that only added character to this alluring creature. His eyes were still closed, but if they were open you'd see they were as dark brown as his hair. A deep brown that dragged you in.

The depth contained in the eyes only raised questions when you looked into them. The complexity of thought and emotion they could display was almost too intense to watch. It was hard to see in the low light, but if you looked closely, you could also see the trail his tears fell that night.

The sleeping figure lay alone in the cold room. His sleep was restless, as witnessed by the condition of the blankets around him. He tossed and turned all night, but to no avail. What he seeked he couldn't find by changing positions in bed. The warmth of someone laying next to him was what he craved. Nothing could comfort him like the feeling of flesh against his own. But tonight, like most of the nights in his life, he was the solitary figure in the bed.

The man had no problem solving the problem that faced him tonight. But the results were always temporary, and only served to make the time after even more painful. He didn't just want someone next to him, he wanted that person to always be next to him. For the rest of his life, he needed to know his companion would always be there when he woke up. No different people, no painful hangovers and surprized glances at the body next to him.

To put it simply, this man wanted love. Real love, not the kind of love he had dealt in before. All his experiences in sex had left him unfulfilled and feeling dirty. Sex isn't supposed to be quick, dirty, and anonymous. Sex isn't supposed to be with someone you met earlier that night. Sex without love, well, that was what created this hole in him in the first place. Having experienced the sweet pleasures of the act only served to increase his want for someone he could truly appreciate it with.

Sure, he had been told "I Love You" before, and even said the words himself. But not once did they ring true. Such powerful words to use so carelessly. He came to the conclusion that most people do not understand love. They will say the words if they know they will result in sex, or better yet a repeat performance. But the true meaning of the word seems to be often forgotten.

Love, at least to him, is perfect. Love is everything one should strive for, and achieving pure love would be to reach nirvana, to be enlightened, to go to heaven and so much more. Love is the conclusion to all the spiritual journeys of life, they all lead to love. The extent of the effect love has is too broad to comprehend. Love is trusting someone completely. It's knowing you can tell them all your dirty secrets, all the mistakes you've made, and every thought that goes on in your head and they'll love and accept you still. It's not being afraid to be honest. Love does not hesitate. The trust that must be established for real love to exist means you are confident. You speak the truth without fear. Love erases all fear. To be truly loved, is to be shown that not a single thing you have done or can do will change that. You aren't afraid of being laughed at, of being lied to or being rejected. Without fear in your life, there is only happiness. Love is the most positive thing imaginable.

It's too bad the world around us corrupts love so badly. People are afraid of real love. People choose fear over love. They choose unhappiness over joy. This world twists love so badly that people are scared of it. They would rather not get hurt then experience life to the fullest. The man knows this about love and yet even he is afraid of it. He has been hurt too many times to give his trust easily. But someday he will. Things will change when the right man comes along. There must be someone else in the world who feels the same way about love. Someone who is sleeping alone, and wishing they weren't.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

How to say this ?!?
This was a very good description of love, i loved it indeed. I hadn´t ever commented anything, but this i had to say something about it.
I want to congratulate as well, for the 100,000th !!!! and im sure that if you keep this blog the way you have managed it so far , you will be a celebrity.
I don´t have a user name or anything , but this is:
D.A.D.M (ian_dave369@hotmail.com)
From Mexico.
CONGRATS AGAIN !!

Anonymous said...

Pr8, you wrote well of love and your longings for it. May it find you soon!
p

jemmytee said...

Oh, Muffin...you speak for us all.

Now if you will...lie on your bed. Put your left hand over the right side of your face. Close your eyes. Feel the peace that comes. The hope. The certainty of a better tomorrow...filled with hope and joy and love.

lancelot90 said...

This is the most amazing passage I ever read in your site…Thank you, pr8! I can feel tou really want to find the your true love so badly, may it come true~

Hunter said...

I agree with you totally. Finding someone with the same views on love and relationships grows increasingly difficult. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. But if we cannot find them we can only pray that they find us.