Tuesday, October 28, 2008

TBC...

Can somebody PLEASE explain to me how does a gay relationship work? Because I seriously DON'T have a bloody clue =P

So I finally had a proper chat with my Mr. Crush, and as it turned out, he sensed that I wanted something more than he could give at this point. Basically, it was partly my fault that I fell for him too fast, too hard, too soon (I actually scared him a bit with my desperation).

But at the same time, he also apologised that he had misused the word 'fancy' in some of our early conversations, which was kind of misled me because I always thought 'fancy' means 'I'm interested in you physically AND mentally'. Whereas for him it's more like a 'physical attraction' only.

Oh well, although it didn't work out between us, we both agreed to remain as friends (which I'm glad about) and would definitely hanging out in the future. Until then, it seems to me that my road of searching for Mr. Right is gonna start all over again!

12 comments:

Donnie v2.0 said...

His loss.

PR8 said...

Come on guys! Seriously, I really don't see it as a game of winning or losing. Yes, I may have lost a potential boyfriend material, but I think I have won a valuable lesson about relationship. And not to mention I have a new friend!

Anonymous said...

Its not even that. At some point in time I am pretty sure he knew you were interested in him for more it just took him a while to get the balls to say something. The idea of potentially losing something shouldn't be a factor. You can't lose what was never there. Its a matter of when the time is right the time is and you have to know/feel and if you miss out on that feeling then you have lost. Don't beat yourself up. Shake it off and take a stroll cause I am pretty sure there are more guys out there.

Anonymous said...

Somehow we all seem to be living in a world of make-believe which has no room for reality. Whenever real people, however, voice their real dreams and longings some of us are running scared, thinking they could lose their perfect self in a relationship based on trust, love and passion which is anything but a figment of imagination and involves a constant struggle to make it work.

It seems to me that your heart-throb was overcome by his own dreams, causing him to back-off for fear of the consequences and the commitments a relationship with you might bring.

Just let him see what a cute and lovable guy you really are and he might come to his senses and change his mind. If not, turn your attention to more worthwhile options and to guys who deserve your affection !

All the best
George

Anonymous said...

only commenting based on my experience in a similar situation, being friends with a crush does not work. but good luck if you try. i am sure you will find the right person.

Shane said...

Slow down! You admit you only had 1or 2 dates with the guy and you're telling him how much you fancy him (although being from the other side of the pond I wouldn't know what that really meant either)

How can you expect him to know what you are feeling or thinking after 2 dates and a few text messages?

Friends is good...Friends with benefits is even better :) If the friendship doesn't grow with this guy it will with someone else. You're a sexy, intelligent, emotional guy. You'll find someone just give it a little time.

Or just come over to the US. I'd love to fancy you! Sorry had to say it!! :)

Much love

~mista [s.h.a.n.d.y.e]~ said...

hye...
im a new reader from malaysia...
i was just curios...
what does 'fancy' actually means?
does it means that you 'like' that person?
hurm... im a bit confused...
anyway... i somehow do agree that perhaps it was not working between the two of you just because you DID move a bit too much too soon...
tone down a bit... but... its his loss also... hehe...

Dougie said...

Gay relationships work the same as straight ones. When you meet the right guy you will know it, things will click for both of you. But wow, slow down a bit, stop looking for a relationship, let it happen on its own. I met my guy accidentally and with in three months we were living together and now 18 years (a lot of tears and laughter!)later we still are together and better than ever. You know, the first time I met him, didn't like him, then we went out for dinner, had sex and it clicked! Go easy mate on finding Mr Right, let him find you!

Cheers.

daan said...

I have to agree with Dougie. Let it happen. Don't force it and don't have that chat about expectations too soon. Enjoy the company and if you're made for each other you won't have to bring it up, it's a mutual feeling that often don't even have to be turned into words.

Well, easy for me to say, met my Mr. Right 15.5 years ago and still with him. But I must say this; I wasn't looking for Mr. Right. He just was there all of a sudden, when I just decided to stay single till my 30th b-day.

There are so many nice gay men in this world, all with the same problem of not finding Mr. Right, and I'd love to start a database and get them in contact with other men who prefer mind over body.

Anonymous said...

Tsk, tsk, Dorothy....sounds like you went way too fast...and the attraction wasn't mutual...good luck though in your search for Mr. Right!
-your fairy godmother =)

JamTheCat said...

Don't worry, Pr8, you'll find your mate, and when you mate you'll find it's Gr8.

JiannChyuan said...

Yes, I agree with I-forgot-who about what does it really mean by fancy when it involves only a few dates and a few texts. I found myself in the similar situation as, quoted someone commented, "the similar situation where most of gay men are in - not finding Mr. Right". But can anyone really tell "This is the man" after a few texts? I doubt.

As much as I would love to advise, I think it is better for me to take your case as a reflection on my own. A relationship cannot be forced and expectations (or own imaginations) will only lead to frustrations and disappointment.

If Dougie is right, I am sure that it will be true for both you and I, the right man will eventually knock on our doorsteps. Sometime, perhaps it is just wise to slow down and take a step back so that we can have a look on the bigger picture.

A piece of advice for both you and I. Good luck!