Wednesday, December 03, 2008


They say experience comes from practice but how will someone become experienced if they haven't had the chance to perfect their skills? In fact, I'm talking about sex here... Alone.

Gore Vidal once said, "Never turn down a chance to have sex or to go on TV." I'm not too sure about the TV part, but in terms of sex, as far as I can see on the net, there are plenty of guys out there who are more than willing to 'train' without pay. The thing is that for SOME people sex is casual (then they become skillful). But for others, like myself, sex is more of an intimate thing between two person. I mean, I've always wanted to perfect my sex skills through practice, but at the same time, I don't wanna f*ck around too much like everybody else.

Seriously, is casual sex the only way to become experienced in sex? Is there another way out? Or am I just a paranoid gay guy taking the whole sex thing far too uptight?


Anonymous said...

I think the best way to get experience is to find a guy like i did who is willing to teach you and doesn't care how much you suck in the beginning because he knows because he loves you enough that you'll get better as he shows you the ways to do things that get him off. If you're both doing it for each other you'll be profesional with that person in no time.

Anonymous said...

The problem, I think, is we don't have experiences while teen.
At least, that was my case.
Many of us realize who they are very late (that's me); before, they probably did not accept the fact of being gay, or they didn't want to consider the argument.
So we lose years and chances of experiencing our sexuality.
When eventually we accept to be who we are we'd like to make up for lost time (got what I mean?).
I'm 28 and still homosexually virgin...


dougie said...

You know, sex is a different thing for everyone and you either learn as you go with someone you are very in love with or not. I was giving blow jobs when I was 6 years old, I had a relationship with my best friends Dad for 3 years starting when I was 11, I had a five year relationship when I was 17. When we broke up I had sex with a different guy every night for a 1 1/2 years until I met my current partner (actually spouse as we are married legally here in Canada) 18 years ago. I am a very sexual person so it was part of who I am, my spouse left his fiance for me so was very inexperienced in gay sex. Did that make a difference? No, we learned what worked for us as we went along, which is half the fun of it. You really need to stop stressing over finding a man and worrying about sex and just be the best person you can and let the rest just happen. If you fall into bed with someone and it clicks, have fun with it and take it for what it is, an enjoyable learning experience and if something more comes of it, great, if not, so what you had a good time. So I guess what I am saying (whew, long winded!!) is casual sex gave me experience, a relationship gave it to my man. It is different with everyone. Hope that helps!

Cheers, Doug

Anonymous said...

Do not make sex into more then what it really is. Enjoy your sexuality often and without guilt. Most of the guys you end up having sex with, the sexual experience will be as much as you want from them. There is nothing wrong with that, it should be enjoyed and appreciated for what it is. There will come a time when you make that special connection and want to spend time with that person on a more personal basis.
I have been in my relationship for the last 17 years and love my partner dearly. I still have sex with others, but it does not take anything away from the deep commitment I have with my partner. That doesnt work for everyone, but it has worked well with us.
My bottom line is to just enjoy your sexuality and set your own rules that work for you!