Sunday, November 15, 2009


Last night I had a deep conversation with two of my housemates (who are happily coupled) about whether or not sex can lead to love.

I'm more of a reserved kind of person and always 'believe' that it's impossible to find love through sex. I mean, if both sides are looking for sex, then it's all about physical attraction and pleasure satisfaction. In another word, CUM and GO, and I don't want that.

Yes, the sex maybe good and he or I may come/go back for second, third, or more helpings BUT it's still sex (as it all started off with sex). And don't forget, there's ALWAYS something better out there, so sooner or later, he or I will be in bed with someone else, a vicious cycles that goes round and round. Tell me, how does love fit into this?

But my housemates disagree and think that having sex helps to break the ice and you're both way more comfortable with each other and more open in communication. In another word, get the sex out of the way! They also say sex and love are two separate things. And if one leads to another, that's a bonus! If not, tough luck!

Their point is, I'm in London (not Reading) and there are thousands of men out there looking for different things. Whether it's sex or romance, it doesn't really matter, but sitting in my room doing nothing will definitely get me nowhere, so just go out there, enjoy myself and F*CK! Who knows, I may struck luck!


thegayte-keeper said...

LOVE can happen @ any moment...

Darryl said...

Keep your heart open, however ... where one looks for love can be an indicator of the outcome......

Anonymous said...

Darling Will,

I agree with the first two respondents.

Furthermore, not to add to any confusion there may be, a fuck buddy could really get to know you and fall madly in love with you...there must be a statistic somewhere in the Gay world about the probability of this.

Certainly, the majority of our casual liaisons are just hook-up taking care of immediate transitory sexual, psycho-social and emotional needs. The sex is there to be enjoyed and anything more is "cream".

According to the old song, “If you can't be with the one you love, love (as much as possible)the one your with“. Recently I saw a comment on JUB that affirmed the possibility that even casual sex can be tender, loving and caring although it is not eternally committed.

So....the problem is one of your discernment of who is going to be the kind or sex partner or the kind of lover who is capable of and is actually going to give the most human transcendent content for the type of relationship you are having with them in the present moment. You have to be honest and very clear with each other about what the relationship is and isn't. Then you have to evaluate, discern and decide whether to pursue it or not.

Where you heart is, your treasure will also be relationally and sexually. You need to trust and follow your heart. As always: "The heart is a lonely hunter"! So... none of this is ever easy...But, your good heart and commonsense and inner wisdom will guide you to what's best for you, personally.

You have to keep yourself going and take care of yourself before you find "the One" who is right for you and meant for you. So don’t drive yourself too crazy. You live in the prayers of my heart.



your crazed friend

thewhitecat said...

I know love can happen out of a chance sexual encounter. My first boyfriend and I were together for 3 years after a one-night stand...but even better, I am now married for 4 years with a man I met abroad after a one-night stand. Total time together 5.5 years.
I think the important thing is to go have sex and enjoy it but don't EXPECT love or a relationship. Never go out seeking love. it has to happen on it's own.
Anyway, just my 2 cents. I wish you all the love and sex you can handle over there in London!

Keep up the great work with your blog. I thoroughly enjoy your updates!

PR8 said...

Guys, thank you SO much! Every single comment has been supportive and encouraging. I love all of you! I really trully do! Damn, I'm gonna cry, tissue please!

bvann said...

I met my partner in a club and went home with him for a one night stand. That was ten years ago and we're still happily together.
Don't discount love through sex.
And don't ever pass up a chance to share a fun evening with another man just because you think it won't lead to anything.