Thursday, March 31, 2011

Curse Of Open Relationship...

I used be a monogamous believer and believed that one day I'll meet my special 'one' to share the bed and spend my whole life with. Well, living in London has definitely changed me. After hearing stories from friends who are still in their long-term open relationship, it sounds to me the whole 'monogamous' thing is more like a fairytale than reality.

I'm no angel and I'm saying this beacuse I've met some of these guys before. I do feel bad because I'm kinda encouraging an open relationship to happen, but at the same time, I don't feel too guilty about it because they ARE in an open relationship, which sometimes can be a good thing!

Hmm, I guess there's no right or wrong to this matter as long as both partners are comfortable with it and play responsibly. Having said that, if the Curse of Open Relationship falls between me and my future partner, I think I might eventually accept it, but until then, I'll try my very best to avoid or delay such curse to take its toll. Thoughts?

5 comments:

Kelly said...

I will try to make this short... I think if you find the right person who you have fun in and out of the sack with is important... if you learn to trust each other and are truly open with each other, then the open relationship is cool... for me, having the person that will sit with me sipping bloody marys on a sunday morning when we are in our 70's remembering all the fun we had with each other and with others, is more of what I am looking for and have found... almost 9 years we have been together... married in DC last year and now just live life...if a cutie happens upon us, so be it.. but thing is, we have a life together... it includes more than sex... and the sex is good...which helps...hehe... from time to time and dip into someone else's pool is nice, but just for a visit...to each his own...

Anonymous said...

I wholeheartedly agree - I was very much in love with my partner whilst living in London and very commited to the relationship, but still ambiguous and experimental (confused)about my sexual orientation. The combination of excitement, acceptance and curiosity made me want to have an "open" relationship though I really wanted my boyfriends' support and for that matter participation actually. Unfortunately it doomed the relationship, he was quite accepting but we were never the same again and the regret tortures me to this day.

Anonymous said...

It's worth the wait ! You are worth the wait and you are worth being exclusive with :)

ARIO said...

I too was a believer in monogamy until I moved to Sydney ... The notion of finding and keeping a BEAUTIFUL person in a monogamous relationship is absolutely ideal, however in this time that we live in where there is an abundance of choice ... It's possibly a little unrealistic!
I say go with what works for you and your fella, no expectation leads to no regret!

Best of luck!!!

My Bit.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know ~ don't go looking for the relationship. New places and new faces have a tendency to get the excitement peaked and conflicting feelings about relationships. I met my partner 21 years ago and we are in a monogamous relationship. I have helped raise two wonderful children, am now a "grand parent" and will have the second grandchild in June. I couldn't imagine life without him or he without me. The open relationship idea could be nice, if trust wasn't such a major issue in a monogamous relationship. Just think, you are sitting at home waiting for him to come home from work ~ in an open relationship, there is always the possibility that he is not going to be there right after work. And if the guy you are dating is in an open relationship, think about how his partner feels.
I think the major thing to remember is that sex is not the be all end all in life. There comes a point where love, caring and being there for each other is the most important thing and honestly, the sex is not number one. And when you do have it, for love instead of for sex' sake is much better. Don't get me wrong, watching porn, "cruising" other people from a distance, knowing that it isn't going anywhere, can be a lot more fun when you have someone to do it with.
Wait for that person who is not only a lover, but a friend, who has something between his ears to offer and a heart that is yours for the taking. It sounds poetic and romantic, but trust me, they are out there, and they are just as hungry for love as you. Just don't sell your self short. These have been the best years of my life!