Monday, May 30, 2011

Wish I Can Have Some Of These...

"I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel, but I'm still in love with Judas, Baby."

Gaga was right. That's the exact feeling I'm going through right now and I just need to let this out! I don't know what makes me more angry/jealous/upset, the fact that I foolishly agreed to go to cinema with Mr. T and his new potential 'date' or the feeling that I'll never be good enough for him no matter how hard I try compared to his "date" who he only met for two weeks.

I enjoyed Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides a lot but I didn't enjoy a single minute of my evening at all. I tried to act friendly and calm but there's a rage inside me that I just couldn't even begin to express. I went straight home after the movie and Mr. T didn's seem to notice my 'moodiness' and/or hold me back.

Having said that, it's not all bad news. At least now I've come to terms with the fact that if I wanna stay happy, I need to cut him off, which I had not been doing because I was hoping things would turn around.

Honestly, I love Mr. T a lot, more than I've ever wanna admit! I don't hate him nor his 'date' and I really don't wanna lose Mr. T as a friend but do I have a choice? Not really... See? I'm such a Holy Fool but PLEASE give me strength to overcome this =(


b3nc0 said...

Hello Cupcake,
I'm so sorry to read that...
It seems obvious that a clear parting is called for. But the loss of a friendship added to that of a relationship (even a platonic or potential one) is hard to take.
I can't remember if Mr.T knows your true feelings, if he does you could talk to him & find a way to keep contact without the date sharing, which I find helluva rude.
I wanna hug ya & remind you to keep hope alive: love is out there =°)

JamTheCat said...

It's hard to let go, Pr8...but you're strong enough to do it. It's obvious from your writing and your history. It hurts, no question, but it also sets you up for something better. Seek the potential instead of the past. You'll be glad you did.