Saturday, June 04, 2011

Thank You...


What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts

Here are two emails I received recently from two blog readers. Thank you so much for caring about me and making sure I'm okay. I really appreciate it. I'm still alive just a little bit down with everything right now, but I won't let you down! I promise.


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Hey, be brave, be strong, and move on!

Life goes on and so should you. Take this as something that strengthen your soul. You can still care about him, but don't expect him to return the favour. Go and experience life. You will fall from time to time and each time might hurt worse than before. That's not important as long as you are willing to rise again (even higher than before). Rise and fall, that's the game as long as you won't give up you will be just fine.

Just remember what goes around, comes around. Now be brave, take your grieving time and remember to move on. At least you know you are capable of loving some one!

Don't forget, take it easy; one step after another and if you are tired take some rest then continue your journey.

All the best!

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Will, I'm so sorry...

Unfortunately it takes that sort of experience to understand the true dynamics of unrequited relationships. You carry a torch for a fellow who feels comfortable with you and who appears to like you except that he is unaffected by your attraction to him. One sided relationships are a huge ego boost for the pursued yet are torture for the pursuer and therefor have NO future.

Saying goodbye to the pursued is horribly difficult, yet absolutely necessary for any healing to begin (or take root). Will, you MUST politely make yourself unavailable when he calls for your companion- ship when he needs you around. He already knows how you feel, but believes that his declaration of a lack of interest early on absolves him of any responsibility towards you and your feelings. This on its own merit causes me to not like "Mr T" very much certainly as a "friend".

I've asked you many times in the past to take care of your own feelings first and foremost. I know that you are a sensitive guy and won't devolve into a "jerk". I also know how difficult it can be when you are surrounded by people yet feel a genuine loneliness for love and companionship. This is common within huge cities, many of my youth suffer from this too, and many of my longterm pals who have lost spouses feel this way.

Desire for erotic and intimate love is important among all humans and especially so with homosexual males. Lesbians can "pass" and settle more easily than gay men. Add to that the fact that our patriarchal world is attracted to the idea of two females together also giving them an upper hand. We can be the most desirous of true intimacy, yet our very sex drive can get in our way giving credence to our "objectified ideal" vs one who is truly our other half (to me this is "Mr T's" problem). There is no easy fix, and no guarantees.

You'll be okay Will if you "Stick to your guns" and move on to never look back. Then if you see "Mr T" again it won't hurt that much as you will have moved on and probably found someone A LOT better!!

All the best my friend.

2 comments:

Darryl said...

Awwww...... thanks for printing my letter to you Will. You'll be fine in the long run ........

Darryl in Atlanta

LebaneseBoy said...

These are two very strongly worded letters, somehow I think what you went/going through is exactly the same as me. I too have the same problem is that we dated a year ago and now we started talking again but it still stings a bit, It took me such a long time to move on from him but I finally did, and now hes back and am lost all over again. Anyway I hope you passed this phase and is now in a better place, emotionally.