Friday, September 28, 2012

William...

So the inevitable has happened again between Peter Pan and I. First of all, I must apologise in my last post when I said everything is fine between PP and WW, but it's just some comforting words I lie to myself to make myself think everything is ok. And that's part of the reason why I did the 'expectation' post.

In reality, we are not, we've spoken but we haven't seen each other since our weekend together at the beginning of September. Since then, I've been trying and trying to arrange a meetup with him but due to his work, he wasn't able to.

You see, his birthday is coming up in mid-October and just a week ago, I was lucky enough to win two tickets to the Opening Gala of this year's BFI London Film Festival and I asked him to join me as his pre-birthday celebration, but to my surprise, he told me he'd already booked ticket to Paris to celebrate his birthday with some friends over there, which I had no clue whatsoever until yesterday.

Of course I was a little upset that he didn't told me about his Paris plan but I carried on asking him when can we be together again. He didn't gave me a definite answer. Our telephone conversation was over and few minutes later, I received his text message...

How do I feel now? Honestly, I DON'T KNOW! Part of me thinks I'm ok with it but another part is certainly not. Deep inside, I'm sad. Since then, I've 'unfriended' him on my Facebook account, deleted all our text messages off my phone, broke the news to my friends, enrolled an one-year Spanish course and made this post. I just hope time will cast its spell and heal me once again =[

P.S. I just wanna make it very clear that I don't hate Peter Pan. In fact, I respect his decision 100%. We are good together as friends but we just not meant to be together as boyfriends. So it's time for me to let him go. C'est la vie.

4 comments:

b3nc0 said...

I don't know either how to respond to that /bad/ news?! I'm deeply sorry that you broke up, like this, that you felt the need to lie to yourself in your 'expectation' post, that the birthday plan got ruined & that you know the sadness is there, somewhere. But I hope that the part in you feeling ok will fight & win finally, that you can find comfort in your friends & that you won't keep in touch with him: if you let him go, let him go for good…
I was a bit worried when you said you 'unfriended' him, deleted the messages, but then said you "are good together as friends" that you were actually planning a friendly relationship?! I'm not sure it will work at this stage ´n`
I'll say a word or two for you in my prayers ♥

PR8 said...

Dear b3nc0, thank you SO much for your kind words and prayer. I'll be stronger this time and I'll keep my promise not to keep in touch nor having a friendly relationship with him for the time being.

LvTed said...

Hi Will,

So sad to see this post of yours. Hope that you could heal very soon, be strong and start next chapter of life, leaving those as pass memory.
I know it is hard, we are always here to support you. :)

Ted

iAmA gaYte-keeper said...

Things don't always make sense when they are happening, but in time...